[[Something Offensive]]

Look, I know that I've posted three times in the past three days, and you probably think I shouldn't be doing that, but I really don't care about what I'm supposed to be doing because I lost my debit card and Becca said she was glad that I couldn't find it and I'm the kind of angry that does nothing to help the situation that's making me angry and so I keep getting angrier and I'm seriously considering breaking something. Look at that fucking run-on. I don't give a shit. fuck you.

***

First of all, I love my job.

Daphne

Bitty

Hobey and Sammi: Employees of the month

Second of all, Hobey Weston needs to be kept in a museum because he is a national treasure.

Things I have gotten Hobey to agree to:
-The American Dream is a government conspiracy.
-I'd read a book if you wrote it, Sammi.
-Girls' nipples aren't more offensive than boys'.

Things he just said of his own accord:
-Society is just so much harsher on girls.
-You're a good talker; you'd be a good writer.
-You're the only GMVS person I like.
-Those GMVS boys are total assholes.
-I can't tell if you're kidding. We say some sarcastic shit around here, so you gotta tell me if you're being serious.

Things we argued about:
-Bitches be cray.

Hobey: I just said, "Well I'm sorry."
Me: You have no idea what you're doing, do you?
Hobey: Not a clue.

Hobey: You know my real name's not Hobey, right?
Me: Yeah, I was gonna ask. What is it?
Hobey: Tyler.
Me: Ew. Why do we call you Hobey then? Is it because you really like sandwiches?
Hobey: *Laughs* No. My middle name is Holbrook.

See what I mean? National treasure.

Hobey is chronically late, always calling me to tell me he slept through his alarm or lost his keys. He wears that ridiculous hat and I would have voted him most likely to leave art class with Sharpie on his nose, if you know what I mean. But he got all shy and bashful when I asked him what kind of music he listened to, hitting the "skip" button with fidgety fingers before I could get bored of the song that I wasn't outwardly showing enough excitement for, but which I was really enjoying. All in all, Hobey is a good guy with a crush on my car and an understanding that just because something is feminine doesn't make it bad.

Anyway, story time. There were these four or five kids in the pool. I had to be a camp counselor earlier in the week and so I recognized one of the girls; her name was Parker. The kids were breaking rules, being unruly, etc. The mother with them asked them to calm down and threatened to remove them from the pool if they refused to listen. A few minutes later, the kids had tired of the diving board and moved into the shallow end to play a game. Parker was sort of floating and treading water in the middle of the shallow end before turning to Hobey, sitting in the lifeguard chair by the side of the pool, and shouting, "I can see your boobs." The mother freaked and pulled Parker out of the water. I was in stitches on the ground and Hobey was sitting in the chair pretending to be offended and violated. Soon afterward the kids all left.

Sorry if the video quality sucks.

Bitty likes to take pictures of herself underwater

It was my last day of work and I was trying to tell Hobey that I'd had a lot of fun this Summer and that he is a worthwhile person who I enjoy being around and all that came out was, "I think you're really cool, Hobey." He said thanks and then, "I think you're really cool too." 

***

This whole post didn't really turn out the way that I wanted it to. Ignore it. And if you know me in real life and have this idea that I have romantic intentions for this boy then your perception is wrong as fuck and I will cut you. Not again friends, not again.

***

Other than that, I have this song on a record. It's off the album SUCK IT AND SEE and I listened to the acoustic version of it because I couldn't understand what he was saying and then I was like half-crying because Alex Turner seems like he needs a hug, which makes Alex Turner and I the same because I am also an owner of dark sunglasses and in need of a hug.