Words. Sometimes. Maybe...: "I Ain't Gotta Do Nothing"

After my game the other night, I fell asleep and had a dream that I played softball. Except in the game in my dream, Shannon caught, Spit pitched, Sarah played 3rd, I got to play short (fucking finally), Emily was back at 2nd base, and Noods was at 1st. Sabrina and Kassy were in left and right, respectively; Becky took centerfield. We made routine plays and got the lead runner. Sarah never dropped the ball at third when it was thrown to her; Sabrina caught pop-flys with ease and made the plays to third and home. Kassy fielded a short-hopper and got the girl out at first. But I kept wondering about Becca sitting on the bench.

After my game the other night, Shannon and Noods (Her nickname is Noodle and Noods is short for that even though her real name is Allison. It's not my fault she's get spaghetti for legs okay? Gosh.) and Becca and I went to Dairy Creme. I had a chocolate peanut butter milkshake and Shannon decided that regular peanut butter ones were better. Noods won two bouncy balls (for the price of one). Becca tried pushing trees into the river (?????). Noods shamed Shannon for hooking up with a relief pitcher. "A relief pitcher, Shannon. I'm disappointed." "He's cute." "No. I don't care." "He's got a good body." "A relief pitcher." Shannon remarked of a mutual acquaintance, "She's definitely got those girls at attention." She quickly cupped her boob and then saluted and then I choked on my milkshake.

I love my softball friends. Shannon used to drive me everyday from Harwood to GMVS and then from Waterbury to GMVS when we started practicing outside. Sarah drove me all the way to Ben and Jerry's from Middlesex and then back to GMVS before she went home, which is past Middlesex. (I know that doesn't mean anything if you don't know where those places are, but she drove me a long while.) Katie gives me more Cheetos than I can eat. Becca invites me over for dinner and trampolining and Adventure Time marathons and video games regularly. Kassy is always offering to make me hotdogs with mac and cheese. Becky is always there with a good movie reference. I love my softball friends. I think I've said that already, but I don't really care. I just like the fact that the only thing they care about is how good you are at softball and if you have food. I happen to be pretty alright at softball and I like sharing my food. I like that there's no pressure on any conversation I have with them.

Sarah's known me since the fall of my freshman year. Immediately after showing up in the Harwood gym for the first practice of my freshman year, I had made friends with Emily. Then Katie. Then Becky. Then Sabrina and Kassy. Then Shannon. Then Courtney. Then Noods. Then Hailey. Then Becca and Megan.

These girls have made my time at GMVS better. I could show up at Harwood and walk around shamelessly until I found one of them. Last year, we weren't a fantastic team. We were pretty good, especially for Vermont, which is only a disadvantaged state because the season is so short. We were only as good as we were because we had been playing together for so long. We weren't fantastic, but I miss stepping out onto the field and have a chemistry with everyone on the field. I miss not being scared out of my mind every time the ball gets hit to the outfield. I miss doing all of those stupid fucking cheers. I miss being proud to put on my uniform.

My friends made a lot of it worthwhile: the long drives and the late nights and the piles of homework. My friends made a lot of it worthwhile and this post wasn't meant to be nostalgic, because they're still in my life. I just wish they were stepping out onto the field with me.

Prepare yourself for an onslaught of pictures. None of this was on purpose. I'm so sorry.