Please stop.
Other than that, I promise that I'm trying to write, but also writing is hard and life is hard and sleeping is the most difficult thing of all. But I cleaned my room and I'm doing laundry and I feel like those are things normal people do (????).
I was in the car the other day and I remember how one time in 7th grade Eva said, "Why do you have so many love songs on your iPod?" At the time, I was very defensive; love songs weren't cool. But now, listening to a lot of my music, I can't help thinking that they're mostly just break-up songs, which, I mean, I guess qualify as love songs. But break-up songs are usually extremely sad or really empowering and try to convey a sense of extreme liberation, which are the two emotional states I spend a lot of time within; I either telling myself that I care too much or not enough and so I bounce back and forth between telling my mother that I want to die and waving at boys on the highway with Becca. (Also, boys are always confused when you honk or wave at them or yell to them. Like yeah, this is street harassment, you have been objectified, fucking deal with it. As much as I realize this isn't the "correct" way to deal with street harassment, people in Waterbury will slow down to yell "Nice ass" at Becca and I'm having none of that without retaliation.)
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